Top tips
Coping with relationships
A diagnosis of lymphoma affects not only the individual with the condition, but also their family, friends and those close to them. Sometimes it can cause added strain to a relationship as both sides adapt to the situation, and the challenges this can cause.
We asked members of our Facebook Support Group for their ‘top tips’ for coping with relationships. Here is what they told us. Thanks to everyone for sharing their tips with us.
- I took my partner with me to my first appointment with the consultant after my diagnosis. I got him to tell me what questions he wanted to ask and wrote them down.
- My partner was overwhelmed with additional chores so I helped by shopping online and a friend supported with household chores.
“ Be open with your partner and family/friends, and ask them how they are feeling as well (sometimes we also forget to ask because we are in our own little bubble of thoughts and feelings).
Sylvia
- Be honest with everyone in your life, especially with your significant other. If you feel bad let people know. If you want help, ask for it. Don’t bottle things up.
- Sometimes you don’t want or need someone to try and fix you and say the usual platitudes. It’s about letting you talk and getting your feelings out while someone just listens.
- Lower your expectations. Some family members will struggle with your diagnosis and not know what to say or do. I relied more on friends for emotional support.
“ When the cancer conversation is exhausting and you don’t want to keep explaining, my top tip if you are struggling with this, is draft a message that would work with most people. Then you just have to edit it and make it more personal.
Johnathon
- It’s okay not to be okay at times. Don’t ever feel like you have to be positive every single day. It’s okay to cry.
- Teamwork. I told my family what I needed from them, and they listened. For example, with food: please don’t ask me to eat more, I know I need to but right now I can’t. I’ll tell you what I think I can eat, and which foods I’m struggling with, and together we can work out a menu that I can eat.
- I asked my family how much detail they wanted me to tell them about what I was going through. They said ‘tell us everything and don’t hold back’. That helped me enormously through my treatment and I think it’s a conversation everyone should have, especially if, like me, you need to unload.
- You need your strength to cope with the treatment so don’t use it up trying to do things people can help you with or bottling up your feelings. They’ll only know if you tell them or ask for help.
“ If you have young children keep it simple. My little girl was only two when I was diagnosed. We told her mummy was having medicine that would make her sleepy and her hair was going to go on holiday for a bit but it would come back.
Rebecca
This information comes from our Facebook community. This is not intended to be medical advice and is not a replacement for advice from your medical team. If you have any top tips to share, email the Magazine Editor at publications@lymphoma-action.org.uk or join our Facebook Support Group.
